So I took a nap today because I wasn’t feeling very well and I ended up with the most wonderful dream ever. If you know me, you know I’m pretty obsessed with the one girl that slipped away. The one that changed my life for the better. I probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her.
Well my dream started off with this girl constantly crossing paths, which is extremely weird, since I haven’t seen her in about 5+ years. Then during one of the meetings she comes up to me and we give each other one of those awkward smiles as we pass by. Then the next she we cross paths, she says hi and I respond with a hi back. Then she tells me how if we keep seeing each other like this, the thought of me will never escape her. Basically how I currently feel about her. So, I then grab her arm and say I think we really need to talk. We end up walking around and we finally stop. In that moment I explained to her how she has never left my mind and how much I genuinely care for her. So said she never knew how deeply my feelings for her were and that she wish she could redo the night we had 9 years ago. I then gave her a kiss on the cheek and she giggled expecting more. I ended up kissing her nose and it made me laugh uncontrollably =).
That was the end of my dream. I’ve never had a dream of her go that vividly. It felt like it was almost real. I never expected my subconscious to play a dream out like that. I’ve had dreams of her before but nothing like this.
Its really troubling how no matter how much I try to forget about her, I still can’t. Deep down I know things won’t ever work out between us, but I think what I really need is a sense of closure. I want to know why things turned out the way they did. As teenagers and early adults we tend to do a lot of dumb things, but both us is, I felt were mature beyond our years and to play games like that really doesn’t match us.
I really don’t know what to do at the point. I don’t really have anyone else to go to about this too, which makes it even worse =(
It’s said that love is life’s greatest event, the one thing worth living for. Give me a break. That’s what some grown up would say, but I can’t even talk to the girl I like. So for me love is nothing but pain and anguish. This unrequited just plunges my life even further into the depths of hell.
w00t it is thanksgiving. It has been 3 years, since I’ve cooked the entire Thanksgiving. I am pretty excited. I have pretty much been giddy all week waiting for Thursday to come =). I am such a kid. Turkey, gravy, cranberry sauce, garlic mash, mac and cheese, creamed spinached, corn and a rib roast ^_^. woooo hooo. Only bad part is I know I am going to be tired that night haha. Wish you could join me
So my sister took me to animal today for my bday and I have to say it was probably the best meal I’ve had in a long time. We had Oxtail Poutine, Foie Gras Loco Moco, Fried Quail, Bone Marrow, Chocolate Bacon, Tres Leches Cake and Sticky Toffee Pudding. ZOMG SOOooo GOOOD. =)
So Secret Garden just started yesterday. I looked through the RAW and it looks pretty good so far. I can’t wait for a sub =). Also can’t forget to mention Yoo In Na =). Shes sooo pretty ^_^. I wish Heroes had some more subs too so I can watch more of her =).
So if you didn’t know I’ve been fascinated with Korean variety shows for sometime now. It started when Sexyama was on Family Outing. From there I started watching Invincible Youth, We Got Married and Running Man. I was watching Seohyun in We Got Married and episode 26 really touched my heart. Seohyun is probably close to my ideal girl. Shes sweet, pretty and innocent. She has those characteristics that drew me to the person I loved with all my heart. While watching this episode it really made me wish we could do those things and share some of those memories. For now I’ll leave you guys with a CN BLUE song called Love Light
I don’t think I can close that chapter in my life until I meet you and ask you all the questions I’ve always wondered. Yes it has been a long time, but I really want to know. If your reading this please contact me and take some sympathy on my heart
Every time I think I would finally let go something brings me back. I never thought it would take me this long to get over those days that I wished never happened. I forget for a few months, but something just happens be it a dream or a memory that reminds me of the painful past. There is always a part of me wanting to hold on and not let go. I don’t know how long it will take but I hope it will eventually happen. The memory of us will hopefully dissipate and I can move on.
So I am down 50-55lbs and I am back to where I was near the end of highschool. I got about 20-30 more lbs to drop before I think I am good. I am built pretty differently then most ppl. I have very broad shoulders which makes clothes shopping horrible =(. I recently bought a pair of Vibram Five Fingers (see below). They seem to help me in my running and it has put me on my path to achieve one of my goals =). Run a 5k in 27-30 min marker. That makes it a 9-10 min mile. Lets hope I can get my way up there cuz I am no where close =). People say that you shouldn’t let others motivate you in losing weight. It is a personal choice you have to make, but women are forcing me to haha. 20 more lbs and we’ll see how things turn out. Off to the treadmill
