KrAyZiE

Testing on my iPhone

How long does it take a person to heal, from getting rejected by the person you love and cherish. The person who changed your life. The person who saved you from the depths of hell. Knowing you would be dead if it wasn’t for that person. How long does it take to heal? Its been over 5 years and I am still broken hearted over it and torn up inside.

All I want to do is talk to you and find out where everything went wrong. That is all I truly want. I just don’t want my heart to be empty and not be able to love for the rest of my life. There hasn’t been a person that has made me so calm and at easy. I never really had to watch what I said around you or what I did. You accepted me for who I was. You kept me alive.

I’m starting to lose faith in humanity. I can’t seem to trust anyone and everyone always seems to have ulterior motives for shit. I can’t seem to find someone honest and genuine. It’s like where ever I look someone is being fake, trying to be nice. It is pretty disturbing. Maybe that is what is turning me anti social. I’ve opened up quiet a lot in the past, letting people in my shell. Showing emotional and all that ended up doing was causing more pain. Now I’m back to how I use to be, keeping to myself and not worrying about anyone else but certain key figures in my life. Do you risk getting hurt by people or put up an emotional wall to keep people out? What really is the right thing to do?

On happy news, I get a new wardrobe if I lose 40 lbs =). I want a more sophisticated/preppy look and I can’t really achieve at the moment. I feel I have a good sense of fashion and I am kind hoping this weight goes down fast =). I’m down 5 lbs already haha. I am hitting the gym and watching what I eat and drinking loads of water. Lets see how long this lasts lol.

I really have to forget the past to move on into the future

I have purged so many negative things in my life…slowly the healing process will begin